In my last post I touched on ‘trusting your process’. In my experience, trusting my process ultimately started with me learning to trust myself. It sounds simple but trusting ourselves can be difficult. I think we’ve been conditioned not to trust our better judgment, intuition, conscience, or our spirit; whichever you prefer. We’re told more often than not to seek advice, get a second opinion, to have a plan B, to “take some time to think about it”, etc. Granted, sometimes these actions are important. Sometimes we need to take a moment. Sometimes we need to talk things through. Sometimes we need to think things over. But those times where we feel that pull within or hear that voice, it’s important that we pay attention.
As a young woman in my early 20’s (baby grown) I’ve had to listen and be told what to do most of my life. But now, my decisions, thoughts, and actions are my own. The transition from always listening to others to now seeking out my own voice has been demanding. Learning to discern what is best for me in all instances and setting boundaries with people in my life that feel they may know ‘what is better for me’ has been challenging. However, I have a new appreciation for my own voice.
Previously (only a few years ago tbh) , I was soooo wrapped up in the opinions, thoughts, and just noise of outside sources that I often didn’t recognize my own voice. I didn’t know how to listen to my spirit, how to tap into the strength of my intuition. It was so faint I could barely hear it, which ultimately led to me listening to and trusting others more than I did myself. I can remember back to when I graduated high school and feeling so passionate about majoring in psychology when I went off to college. I knew I wanted to learn more about the mind, mental health, and what wellness would look like for my community. I was excited. By the end of the summer going into my freshman year of college, I switched my major. Why? Because of noise. I let other people’s opinions about having a bachelors in psychology change my mind. I changed my major to “something that would be more profitable” upon graduating because that’s what I was told was best for me. Fast forward to the fall of my sophomore year in college. I literally walked out of class one day, called my mom, and had a full a$$ breakdown. I hated my major. My grades didn’t show that but I was miserable and unfulfilled. *Shoutout to my mom for being as supportive as she was when I needed it most in that moment.* She reassured me to listen to myself. She told me to do what feels right, to do what makes me happy. She believed in me before I truly knew how to believe in myself. In hindsight, I should’ve trusted myself. But I didn’t because I felt maybe I was wrong, maybe it was stupid all along, maybe ‘they’ were right. You know, self-doubt talking.
That was a pivotal time for me. It showed me how important it was and is now for me to trust me. We aren’t and won’t always be right in life (unless you’re an Aquarius *shrugs*) but there are times when we just know. When we know, we must trust. When we feel, we must trust. It’s indescribable, that knowing feeling. I’ve let myself be cheated out of fulfilling things in my life because of noise. The noise can come from anywhere: family, friends, media, circumstances, strangers, etc. It can be so loud it drowns you out completely, but only if you let it.
When you take a moment to listen to yourself first, things happen. When you trust your own voice, things happen. When you allow yourself to feel moved and trust your decision-making, things happen. Amazing things happen when we trust ourselves. When we do this, we allow ourselves to play an active role in the course of our lives. This act of self-trust teaches us to believe and let go at the same time. We learn to believe our voice has value and power. We learn to let go of the fear of not knowing.
A few things that have helped me learn to trust myself:
- Learning to value my feelings
- Not working against how I feel, self-sabotage
- Getting clear about my values and beliefs
- Honoring my own voice as important and worthy of being listened to
- Being honest with myself
Moving forward, I encourage you to trust yourself. Bet on yourself. Believe in yourself. Listen to your “gut”. Take the risk. Do that thing. Make that decision. Be firm in your choices. You can. You know.